Where to begin? So many emotions and memories flood into my mind and make it nearly impossible to define a start point for this post. I’ve been staring at my laptop for about 5 minutes now running through possible starter lines, or a clever way to ease into all that is awesome about my Momma… No luck. Whatever, I’ll just piss off the perfectionist inside me and just put it all out there void of any flow and in a non-eloquent fashion.
My mom is awesome to put it mildly. Pretty much any word synonymous with spectacular can be used to describe her. She has been a consistent player in my game of life since the day I was born. I could even go so far as to give her credit for that whole 9 months of pregnancy thing (I suppose she has something to do with my life even before I was aware I had one).
She was and is Wonder Woman to me. She did it all. From the standard mom jobs of cooking, cleaning up after her slob-ish family, helping with homework, running us around to friends houses, as well as the occasional 9-5 job mixed in there. But she had a much more demanding job when it came to taking care of me.
I know you’re thinking it would be such a pleasure to take care of me, I’m supertastic! And you are right, I am supertastic. But its true, it was demanding and very emotionally draining for her at times. Many late nights/early mornings she would hold me as pain consumed my body. I know she must have felt so helpless and worn down from the constant fear of losing me. But her arms around me gave me a relief that no medication could. She spent every night in an uncomfortable chair next to my hospital bed any time I was admitted. She only left my side when my dad wasn’t able to pick up my siblings or she had to pee or something I guess. She was always there (whether I thought I needed her or not), she was my voice when I hadn’t found my own, always my advocate. She’s a fighter and a do-er, she gets things done…I get that from her. She was constantly praying for me and when she wasn’t praying she was tending to my every need and I mean EVERY need. I won’t go into detail but being a caregiver, uhh…well it’s not always just fluffing pillows and massaging muscles. So much of her life has been consumed by caring for others. Rarely did she ever take time to address her own needs.
Some may say, “Well, that’s just being a good mom”. No, you’re wrong. She’s not just a good mom, she’s more than that. She is something that has yet to be named in the English language. I hope to someday discover the word that encompasses all that she truly is. But until then saying that I have the most ‘consummate mother’ on the planet will have to do.
To you, my dearest Momma:
You are a blessing to my life. I know what we share as Mother/Daughter is something unique and special, I wouldn’t trade it for ALL the Whoopass in the world. (You know that’s saying a lot because I’d trade several adults, animals, and countries for that delivery of Whoopass.) You are not only my mother but you are my friend. I can share anything with you and I know that you will give me the blunt-honest-truth in return. I’m glad I inherited your ability to speak the blunt-honest-truth. Although, you have found a way to put more grace into your deliverance of truth than I currently have. That leaves me something to aspire to. You and I (and unfortunate others) know I lack grace… =)
Without your consistent game-play and the sacrifices you made in your life to secure my hand, I wouldn’t have lived long enough to receive my re-deal, I truly believe that.
But Momma, I can see the residue my childhood of pain left inside your heart. It affects you still to this day and I can feel it any time I tell you about something slightly odd going on with my body. Momma, you don’t have to carry that burden anymore. God has lifted my burden out of me, now it is time for you to let him lift yours as well. Let go of the fear, heartbreak and stress my first hand left you with, that hand is over.
Come join me (sans the anxiety) in my re-deal where all I need from you is you and nothing more.
Thank you for your unconditional love, support, encouragement, prayers and friendship over the past 24 years and for all I can expect to receive until we leave this earth. I love you more than Costco apple pie and Whoopass combined plus a bunch of other stuff… Hmm, doesn’t really equal my love for you. Mom I love you so much, right up there with how much I love God. Yup, right there, captured the love amount.
Your favorite middle daughter,
P.S. You are always right. I’ll admit it.
To my reader: I still don’t feel I was able to convey how awesome my mom is. But that’s ok. People really couldn’t grasp it unless she was their mom too. And I’m not willing to sell her, or trade her as stated above and as it is I have to share her with so many other people its ridiculous! Just take my word for it, anyone would be beyond lucky to have her as a player in their game of life. Unless you are looking for a good “poker face” because hers sucks… What? It’s true! I’m not being rude, she knows it as well. You can read her face like a children’s book…