Archive | April, 2012

A promise to T (warning: sex is mentioned a lot)

20 Apr

Ever make a promise? I am sure you have., everyone does at some point. They are all made with varying degrees of importance but a promise is a promise in my book, and it can not be broken. That being said… I made a promise this morning to T and the more I think about it and try to figure it out, the more puzzled, frustrated and excited I become.

I promised T “Graduation Sex”. What is that you might ask? I have no idea. If you do know, please email me. I don’t have the slightest clue as to what Graduation Sex consists of. It was promised in a moment of sheer joy for T to be done with college. But as soon as I made this promise, I started imagining myself in a cap and gown, with sexy lingerie underneath, walking rhythmically toward T like a serious graduate with a naughty secret… While the song “76 trombones” played in the background. I don’t know where the song came from, it just seemed worthy of the momentous occasion.

The song, now that’s something I can get! I downloaded a couple of graduate tunes… Oh boy, it’s a wreck isn’t it? T seemed pretty excited about this whole Graduation Sex but to be honest, it’s probably more geared towards sex in general. Maybe he’ll forget about the Graduation part, or perhaps he’ll take that name loosely and convert it to celebratory? Hmmm…

I feel if I lose the theme, I break the promise. So I must go forth! What if I make a cap out of B’s craft supplies, and drape a sheet over myself as the gown? Or maybe I could scrap the cap and gown, head down to the dollar store and buy a “Congrats Graduate” hat (ya know, the paper cone ones) and a blow-into a noisemaker, keeping the lingerie of course.

See I’m all sort of confused on how to approach this. I mean, it’s his graduation and that BIG for us. I have to follow through with this and that makes me excited. Because when I jump into something a bit confusing and have to wing it, that’s when I shine. This could turn out to be “History Making Graduation Sex”! And that’s pretty exciting, yet so much pressure.

I must not psych myself out. Wish me luck readers….

Question Period:
WHAT IS GRADUATION SEX??? Also, have you ever made a promise “in the moment” without knowing exactly what it would consist of? Did you follow through, put a spin on it, or break it?


UPDATE! I left my computer open after posting this. T returned home from taking his final exam and sat on the couch. Obviously noticing the post, he began to read it. I’m in the bathroom, readying myself for the spectacular day I had planned when I hear…. “Cap and Gown, baby.” And apparently, the theme is very important and can not be substituted for “Celebratory Sex”.


Off to Beau’s craft zone to create a cap….

My first “How To”

19 Apr

As I was wrapping T’s graduation present (YAY! This deserves its own separate post), I was thinking about what I wanted to write about next. I wasn’t in the mood to get all teary-eyed while writing my sister’s “Player Card” so I started thinking of something I could teach everyone!

I first thought of baking, but, we have zilch when it comes to food so that’s a no-go. Then I thought about teaching my nifty scarf making techniques out of old t-shirts, but that was done forever ago on other websites that do it WAY better. I thought about singing for you guys, imitating some famous singer like Jewel, Alanis Morissette or Adele. But I’m pretty sure B wouldn’t cooperate while I sang for you and then proceed to explain the process of “Mentally Embodying Another Being”. Which really is what you have to do to sound like them. I also have no idea how to edit video from my new camera. We’ll save that treasure for another day.

So I finished wrapping T’s gift and proceeded to put the final touches on it. I’m always impressed with my wrapping. It’s one-of-a-kind and legendary. Then it dawned on me. I could teach you all (quite easily) how to wrap a gift, and make it the most epic wrap-job ever! People will love it. Trust me. Sometimes people admire my wrapping more than the gift itself. Which is fine by me because I’ve been poor for a while, and the gift is usually nothing special (It’s the thought that counts though, right?). Being poor is why I started wrapping this way in the first place. I was around 8 years old and we didn’t have any wrapping paper. To me, it seemed silly to waste money on paper to cover a gift, when there was something so pretty inside the kitchen drawer!

Without further ado, My First How To!

You will need:

  • Duck Tape
  • Foil
  • Scissors
  • Sharpie


  1. Pull out as much foil as you need to cover your gift. Today I used 2 long sheets and 1 short sheet.
  2. Cut a long strip of Duck Tape (I prefer colored), and then cut that into smaller pieces. Stick them on the edge of your wrapping surface for easy go-to.
  3. Wrap your gift as neatly or as crinkly as you like. There are no rules! Just cover the thing however you see fit.
  4. Once wrapped and secured with your tape, write whatever you want on the front. Doing so bypasses the need for a card. Just put it all on there, go ahead, write a novel or make it short and sweet. (Skipping the card could save you up to 6 bucks!)
  5. Lastly, add decorations. You can get as creative as you want or do none at all. Doesn’t matter. I like to make little roses and squiggly streamers. I included a picture of the gift without and with the decoration. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the extra 3 minutes of creativity really adds that special something.

Admire the detail of the embellishment!!!

So there you have it. I’ve just taught you how to wrap a gift, in a super fun way! All of these items are probably in your house as you read this. Maybe you should wrap something now, like the plates everyone will be eating off of at dinner and the silverware too! Go ahead….I know you want to.

Question Period:

Is there something you do/make that is unique to you? Perhaps it’s a masterpiece you cook or bake that people always request the recipe for? Or maybe something people see and know instantaneously that it’s yours? What is it, I’d love to know!

The “Life is Good” Card.

16 Apr

Ok, this is a fun card that isn’t used nearly enough, mostly because its rare amongst people to have it all together…

Usage guidelines: Use when life is good, there is money in the bank, and you’re out with your BFF’s.

Expiration: When life is no longer good, the bank account is depleted or you’d rather drink alone in your closet out of a paper bag.whichever comes first.



You’re surrounded by your friends. You’re happy and feeling awesome about life. You’ve got your nice butt jeans on and your cleavage is impeccable! Your personal life is together and you’re the shining star at work. Well done. You’re amazing.


BFF’s: “Hoot” “Cheer” “YAY!”, perhaps one gives you a flash of appreciation (my fave BFF form of thanks)

Spread your intoxication of life to your friends who have been by your side as you’ve  journeyed to the top.

Go on and share your joy – one free cosmo at a time. ❤

Love-in Italy Part 2

16 Apr

Florence. Aaaahh… SO beautiful! I could have stayed months there, no, I could have stayed the rest of my life there. And I wanted to stay there with L. First thing was first, find a place to sleep. L didn’t make reservations which was kind of our first argument. There we were, 9pm after a very long train ride, dragging our luggage up and down streets, searching the city for a place to stay. We went into a ritzy hotel, me rolling my eyes at L knowing we can’t afford it. We inquired of the price and of course, I was correct. When we asked for cheaper recommendations nearby the man said wait here a minute. We looked at each other a bit confused,  but we waited. A couple of minutes later he returned and said, “Follow me.” We followed hesitantly into the dark alley across from the hotel, through a door bigger than any door I have ever seen, and into an elevator right out of a 1930’s movie. There was barely enough room for us 3 to fit in it, and I swore if we would have jumped, it would have plummeted. But neither L or the desk clerk would jump with me, so we’ll never know if I was right…. “It look older than it is.” says the clerk in a condescending tone. Riiiiiight, then jump I say! I am so right.

The room was amazing! It was 2 stories, with a spiral staircase right in the center sitting room leading up a room with 2 king size beds. The bathroom had heated floors, heated towel racks and even a bidet!!! There was a balcony overlooking the whole city and I could see the Duomo, fully illuminated and majestic! We got this amazing room for the low price of 60 Euro! Can you believe that? We were under budget. So all that irritation with L slowly melted away, as L and I snuggled up and watched the city come to life.

I could not wait to celebrate my 18th year with adventure! Now, something about L and I that differs greatly that I learned on this trip was that we both view “adventure” differently. I also learned that we have different interests when it comes to exploring and sightseeing. I like culture, history, architecture, and a bit of chaos. He preferred safe, leisure, and semi-Americanized surroundings. Hehehe, this made for an uncomfortable time for him, as I won. It was my birthday.

We first headed out in the pouring rain. Yes, pouring. We were drenched in seconds and I knew from that moment this day would be AWESOME. L however, was not impressed with my dancing about “catching your death of cold in Florence, on your pretend birthday” and soon found us both sweatshirts and umbrellas from a street vendor. Fine, fine. I complied. But then I was off. The city was abuzz and the word was that the San Lorenzo Market was going on several blocks away, in a direction pointed by someone who apparently had no sense of direction. We wandered in the rain, ducking in and out of quaint but far-too-expensive stores, tons of bakeries (oh wow, gained 3 pounds), and espresso shops (peed a lot). We went about 12 blocks in the wrong direction until another tourist pointed us in the right direction. Thanks out-of-towner! Grabbed some of the best pizza ever, and went on our way, the other way.

The market was huge and packed full of people. I bought a bunch of stuff I didn’t need and labeled them as “souvenirs” with little intention of actually giving them to the intended people. We walked through rows after rows of hand crafted gems, ate more food (well I did) and the rain never let up for a minute. When we were done with the market, we made our way to see the older parts of town.

This is where I would post amazing pictures but, my camera was in fact stolen out of my bag on our return trip… so, no photos. The city of Florence is so rich in history and beauty, we barely even scratched the surface of discovery. We did however see the most beautiful cathedrals, several neat statues including David, and a few landmarks like the Uffizi Gallery and the Ponte Vecchio bridge! My favorite site was the Basilica of Santa Croce, it was breathtaking. Up close you could see the craftsmanship and I was in awe the whole time. I didn’t want to leave its steps but my stomach told me otherwise. Dinner time!

Finding a restaurant was challenging. Not for the lack of restaurants but because L wanted a menu he could read. I was more willing to take a gamble. So we settled on a place with an English menu and an Italian one. He ordered right away, I pondered over Italian words, trying to think of what Giada would order. I went with something that sounded rustic and pretty, it didn’t disappoint! We ate in true Italian fashion, slowly, with strangers and buckets of wine. I guess this is the thing to do here. Dinner was delicious and the company was entertaining. 3 hours later, on to birthday drinks.

We wandered about some more, in the general direction of our hotel. Not long after the search was over. We came across an Irish pub called “The Dublin Pub” and ducked in as it seemed like the hot spot in the area. Talk about fun! People from all over the world were in that pub. We made some Aussie friends, Irish Friends, English Friends, a couple American ones too! No Italian though… Strange. Shortly a contest was in full swing. L didn’t believe my drinking abilities and neither did a couple Aussies, and so it was on. Long story short, I won. I had about 10 shots, 2 foreign concoctions, and a couple Redbulls. L was done after 6 beers. After the high-fives went around the pub and a couple of hugs from drunk strangers, we staggered back to our hotel room. Or did we? OK, we got lost. Really lost. It was around 2am and we had no clue where we were. We went in circles for over an hour trying to find our hotel. Just when all hope was about to be lost, and we were going to settle for the sidewalk, we see our special little alley way…. Literally next to the Dublin Pub. Oy Vey. Really???? We crashed as soon as our heads hit our pillows. Good night Florence.

The morning came quick and so did the hangover for me. We packed up, grabbed some yummy confections at the bakery on the corner and went to catch our train. Those 2 days were unforgettable and far too short. I loved every moment of that trip. L was a great companion there, and we sure learned a lot about our differences. But ya know what? I didn’t mind that we were so different. I felt that we made a good team and that we brought balance to each other in our extreme areas. Our humour really clicked when it came to having fun and being silly, which has always been a big thing for me in relationships. I could be myself with him, and that was nice.

I only stayed a couple more days with L in Aviano. We went for a few drives and romantic walks, on a few shopping trips and ate at some unique cafes. I took tons of pictures, that of course I can’t show you but at least I have my memories. And those will never be stolen. Well, until I grow old and senile of course.

Saying goodbye to L was hard. I was teary-eyed and he took it rough as well. He even inquired about me staying until he was set to leave Italy, but it just wasn’t affordable. So we hugged and kissed and kissed some more, and I was off.

Farewell L, Farewell Italy.

Hello Mountain Home AFB, again…


16 Apr

Since September it’s been constant stages of recovery for me. My health was in a bad place and as my readers know, I was thrown a new hand from a player. Lucky for me there were a lot of things going in my favour.

I have players who never cease to amaze me. They are full of insight, strength and encouragement. I’m also wicked smart and intuitive, which helps me all the time in life situations. I also have never been so happy to be an American.

The new cards shook my whole life. I hate to be so vague about it all but it’s not the time and especially not the place. The big WWW just isn’t appropriate as a sharing platform. At least not this early in the game. All I can say is it got hairy and was touch and go for a while. And not in the good “touch and go” way…  There wasn’t a lot of self-help books for me, which I found very disappointing. And everything I did read kinda seemed like a “Duh.” in my mind. The advice they were giving in the books were so OBVIOUS, I could have written the book before this experience. That all being said, I guess God gave me something I could handle even though it felt like a ginormous kick to the metaphorical balls. I had this inner peace from the beginning even though my whole being felt pain. I knew what way to go, what to say, how to act…. I just knew it all. And for that I am grateful. These cards will most likely, in some way, be in my life forever. But I am confident that their impact, although initially devastating, will eventually turn into the single greatest growing experience my life will ever endure. Or I should hope…

I’ve always been proud to be an American. I might have some issues with our political system and its MAJOR malfunctions… I’ll stop there. This blog WILL NOT turn political. Obama 2012!!! …. (I tried not to write that, really I did. I wrote that during the editing of this post. What is my problem!?!?! See, always room for growth.)

As people know I have health issues. I struggle with my health all the time. Weird stuff usually, that has no rhyme or reason. Something is always going on with my body that’s not even related to my past MD problems. That all being said, the most recent odd thing was bursitis in my right shoulder as well as a concussion, given to me by my ever-dancing son. The pain from my shoulder became unmanageable and the concussion left me with social anxieties and constant headaches. My son and I flew to Seattle in February, back to home to my parentals, to get the care I couldn’t receive in Canada.  GOD BLESS THE USA and their flawed but wonderful healthcare system!!! After 2 1/2 months I am pain-free in my shoulder and it’s running at about 80% function. And although there was no hands-on help to be had with my concussion related issues (the anxiety could last forever they say), I did get a nifty medication that nipped the headaches in the bud as well as a medicine that aids my natural ability to sleep. Things are looking up for me in the health department. Every issue is under good management now, and with the new incorporation of clean eating/vegan lifestyle I am sure my arthritis flare ups will decrease and my energy level with increase. Cheers to good health!!!

So you’re up to speed on my Present Gameplay. I’m back in Canada, I’m working daily on myself physically, mentally and spiritually. Ever searching for that perfect balance to bring true happiness and completeness. Life, despite its many challenges has only strengthened me.

As you know (if you don’t, now you will) “Pain is just weakness leaving your body”. Some day, I’m going be epic strong. Like the Hulk, only zen-like without the green exterior, or male, or huge. Just small, and strong, and peaceful. OK, so maybe nothing like the Hulk. Dang it. I’ll be epic though, in my own Lacey way.

Have you ever had an experience that was horrible, challenging, scary or heartbreaking, but you came out of it like a superhero? And felt all epic-like afterward? Tell me about it, and be as detailed or as vague as you wish!

I’m ready. Are you?

11 Apr

HELLO FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND RANDOM STRANGERS (who came here cuz I tagged balls again)!

I am preparing to take my *blog* off of the back burner and set it on the front burner…on high setting. Hmm, feels a bit like a failed analogy. Oh well. Moving on.

My current hand has been a constant challenge since my last post in September, but I’ve finally got a handle on it now. I haven’t conquered it but I have found ways to manage it and be enlightened by it. I have been so blessed with the support of my parents, husband, my in-laws and my bestie… Without them I don’t know how I would have managed. Probably poorly, so thanks!

There are two sayings that have repeatedly encouraged me to continue moving forward and I’d like to share those with you now.

1. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.

2. God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

The first one I found written on a cute little woven picture, at the dollar store (SCORE). I hung it in our living room, right where I can see it throughout the day. When I would lose focus of my hopes and felt so defeated, I would stare at that picture and find renewed faith in my life and hope for eventual change and healing. Nothing is ever impossible when God is with you.

The second one is called “The Serenity Prayer” and is widely known for being the prayer (condensed by a mile though) said at AA Meetings and other 12-step programs alike. Although I’ve never been to or needed an AA Meeting, I’ve always admired this prayer growing up. It used to comfort me and help me gain perspective. It always has a calming effect when I say it aloud. So, I thought of it often and prayed it during meditation and it seemed to help set my mind in the right mental path for the day.

Over the past eight months I have come to a couple realizations and have been changing myself as I went along, and some will be implemented shortly. I’ll share a few with you.

  •  God’s grace is the most amazing gift you can show to someone. When you give grace to another human, true grace and forgiveness, it not only comforts and aids the other person, but it opens the doors for spiritual growth. I’ve been able to show this kind of grace and forgiveness, and let me tell you, I am better for it. I know when people think of me, they don’t think of grace. I can be cut-throat-brutally-honest…but it’s always from a place of love. I think they all know that and appreciate it. BUT in this certain case, I dropped the hard edge and picked up God’s love. It was in fact the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I am striving daily to continue doing it. “Graceless Lace” will be a thing of the past, unless of course by special request. I’ll still make myself available for those who desire a good verbal kick in the tush, with love, of course.
  • I have an addiction to computer games, baking, food and Facebook.
  1. I have given up all computer games and have vowed to keep my gaming strictly “tabletop”.
  2. I have to continue eating and baking, such a drag I can’t just cut that out. But I have found a healthy alternative to what I had been doing. I’ve started a Clean Eating Diet and will be slowly transitioning into a mostly vegan lifestyle. I will continue to bake/cook for my friends and family who love, appreciate and request my talents, but no longer will I come up with excuses to make “Slutty Brownies” at 10pm. My body is my temple and I am choosing to fuel it right!
  3. As for Facebook, well, this is hard for me. I feel so isolated from my friends and family in the states when I’m all the way up in Canadaland. Facebook has been my lifeline so to speak and I always thought I couldn’t be happy in Canada without it. That without Facebook I would just be a lonely sack of loneliness. It turns out I am wrong. Recently upon a trip to Seattle I came to the harsh realization that being a friend on Facebook does not equate to a friend in real life. Out of the dozens I have from the area I saw 4 friends one on one. 4. I saw my family from the area several times, and was blessed with gas money to see my family in Portland for a couple of days. Family will be family without Facebook. Family will call, email, Skype, pay for my gas to see them… They remain untouched by distance and time. With friends it’s different. In some instances when you are apart for a long time, your lives move in different directions.  The saying is true, friends come and go. Recently some chose to stay, some chose to go. And I am OK with this. It’s life, and I want mine to be without a false sense of friendship and popularity . I’ll be making my final “goodbye” to Facebook this week and letting everyone know how to reach me if they so desire. I do have genuine love/like for everyone on my Facebook, I just want more than a convenient comment on their lunch break. No malice here, nothing but love peeps. But I have to let Facebook GO.
  • I have 2 passions and I’m good at them. Its time for me to let go of whatever is holding me back from pursuing them, and just DO IT! I used to think it was a fear of being judged, I also thought maybe it was a fear of success or failure. But I don’t think either of those are it anymore. And because I can’t think of a reasonable reason for not pursuing them, I shall be moving forward.
  1. Don’t get too excited but I’m going to attempt to write my first book. I have several ideas, so maybe I’ll write a couple. Who knows!?! It’s so exciting to finally be putting all these thoughts that have been living in the crevices of my mind down on paper. Errr…into a computer simulating paper. I might even use a fancy font, so I can pretend I am writing in 1905.  And, I have always had this dream of writing sentiments in Hallmark cards professionally (not just illegally). It’s almost as weird as my dream of being a gas attendant. But not quite…
  2. I will be working hard on my photography. I find immense pleasure from photography and some say I have “a good eye” for finding unique beauty in nature. I love God’s earth and everything he decorated it with and the old lady next door… she did a good job too! I’m thinking about post cards, eBay, and Etsy. I might even take a photography course and wear a lot of black and get long bangs… I just might 😉


That’s that for now. I’ll be making regular posts starting next Monday… SO BE READY! =)

Some cliché sign off (you pick!),