Usage Guidelines: When you’re born without a backbone, OR, you’ve given up.
Expiration: When you find your spine.
I have met a couple doormats in my lifetime. Poor Doormats. I have no idea what it would be like to be one, but I am sure it would be miserable. The doormat card differs from other cards because it’s a passive card. People don’t choose this card, it’s not a cover up or an excuse. It’s a card people rarely have control over, and the only way to rid yourself of this card is therapy, most likely. There are some instances where people have completely given up on being happy or they have lost sight of their value in life, so they become a doormat. This is usually temporary though and once the person gets their shit together they stand back up and discontinue the passive behaviour.
Doormat behaviour is not to be confused with general politeness. Doormats continually deny their own desires in order please others. You’ll also find that the “friends” doormats keep are usually a bunch of jerks. They “befriend” the Doormat in order to feel powerful, and enjoy feeling the false sense of leadership. Usually they are bullies. There are some people though who keep doormats as friends in order to protect them, and empower them. I’ve only been successful once in helping a doormat find their backbone. It was no easy task.
Examples of Doormat Behaviour:
Friend- “I forgot my lunch. You wouldn’t mind if I had yours, right?”
Doormat- “No, go head. I wasn’t that hungry. I’m a doormat.”
Friend- “I left my wallet again, you got this?”
Doormat- “Sure no problem. I’m a doormat.”
Friend- “I need you to watch my 8 children while I go out drinking on Tuesday night, and I won’t be home until Wednesday because I’m a slut.”
Doormat- “I have a date on Tuesday night, can you go out Wednesday?”
Friend- “Seriously, you’re my best friend and I need you. Why are you so selfish? I guess you aren’t the good person I thought you were….”
Doormat- “No, no, I’ll cancel. I’m sure he won’t mind.”
Friend- “Don’t forget to come early, you’ll need to make them dinner.”
Doormat- “Ok, no problem. I’m a doormat.”
Friend- “I forgot underwear.”
Doormat- “Here, have mine…I’m a doormat.”
Friend- “Insult, insult, insult”
Doormat- “Takes it, takes it, takes it. I’m a doormat.”
Friend- “Let’s go out to dinner. I want Indian food.”
Doormat- “Indian food makes me vomit.”
Friend- “Good, maybe that will help with the weight you wanted to lose.”
Doormat- “Yeah, OK, sounds good…I’m a doormat”
Doormats will do anything to feel accepted or to avoid confrontation, even at the cost of their own emotional well-being. Doormats don’t choose this way of living and they need a Door to stand tall in front of them. If you know a Doormat, don’t misuse them, BE THE DOOR. Protect them, encourage them, help them find their inner voice and teach them to use it. If by chance you’ve become a doormat because you’ve lost your passion for life, or you’ve devalued yourself, I offer you these thought-provoking quotes.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” -Dr Seuss
“What we think, we become.” – Margaret Thatcher (Don’t think negative, or you’ll be negative. Don’t think doormat, or you’ll be a doormat. Don’t think worthless, you are anything but.)
“Value yourself. The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes.” Leo Buscaglia
If you are tired of being a doormat and can’t afford therapy, Google is your friend. Look what I found in 1.3 seconds! A “How-To” Speak Your Mind article! Check it out, be empowered, let your voice be heard! You’re worth it.