Pubes EVERYWHERE!!!

4 May

OK, so they aren’t all pubes but they LOOK like pubes. Since I can not confirm or deny their origins they are all pubes, because I err on the cautious side.

I love my husband but he is a hairy beast. T sheds like a golden retriever. Except his hairs aren’t long, straight and golden. They are short, black and curly. It doesn’t help that the man is allergic to clothing, and immediately undresses down to his underwear the moment he enters our home. As he undresses the hairs jump off his body and find refuge on the floor. As he walks about the house in his skivvies and rough houses with B (who also has an aversion to clothing) he sheds his little hairs everywhere! I vacuum the couches and sweep daily as to keep my feet and clothing free of the questionable body hair. When guests come over I am always on “hair watch” and it really takes the enjoyment out of entertaining.

Don’t even get me started on what happens during/after sex. From the mixture of sweat and T’s hair loss, I look like his hairy equal. My clean-up is a bigger task than most women endure, and our sheets have to be changed. There is no way to rid the hair off them… Also, our dryer’s lint trap is consistently clogged with a mass of hair. Hardly any lint. Just hair, and more hair. I change it daily.

The bathroom is the worst of course. All the sac scratching while pooping (we all KNOW you guys do this) bathing and aggressive toweling really makes the hairs fly. And that’s the reason for my rant this morning. I’ve had it with the unidentified body hair. Something has to give, and its T’s hair. My life can not become a string of repetitive sweeping events. At this rate by the time I am 80 I’ll have swept up over 900 pounds of hair and wasted 5 years of my life in the process. I am sure of it.

I took to Google with my issue. I find that Google provides a solution for everything. I sorted through human-hair shedding articles first, but realized T is not your usual case when it comes to body hair shedding. I moved on to animals, we need drastic measures people. After about 20 minutes of skimming pet-shedding related articles my theory was confirmed. T sheds like he dog, he must be groomed like a dog. I’d like to thank the following site for your plethora of information. You have proved yourself invaluable in my fight against shedding and I will be incorporating your suggestions. http://www.petside.com/article/clean-freaks-guide-pet-shedding

Now off to Pet Smart! http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11324352

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5 Responses to “Pubes EVERYWHERE!!!”

  1. Amy Nielsen May 4, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    Right there with you Lacey…..Have you met your Uncle E??? lol

  2. What I Desired To Say May 4, 2012 at 12:46 pm #

    I’m sure he would prefer to be called a dog for this reason than many others.

  3. Andrew May 4, 2012 at 4:30 pm #

    Ha, glad I was eating lunch for this.

  4. Jill May 4, 2012 at 10:09 pm #

    I think you need to embrace the furry remnants. Perhaps create art with those fibers, how about making paper stationary wiith his hair? Another idea would be a sculpture…. Abtract of course! You are always recycling, i am surprised you haven’t thought of it your self. You might be able to sell your craft at the lcal street fair and cash in on this renewable product that you seem to gleen daily…..

  5. profitscouter May 5, 2012 at 4:30 am #

    Reblogged this on profitscouter and commented:
    I Liked 1000

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