Exercise has always been a challenge for me. It’s been a constant balancing act trying to exercise my body enough to lose fat, and stop just short before losing muscle mass. I also have to maintain a fairly high in protein diet and I’ll be honest, I don’t always choose lean protein. Ok, so I’ve been known to demolish a whole package of Hormel Pepperoni in a matter of minutes. I also have a love/hate relationship with summer sausage. I know those protein choices are wrong, but oh man, they taste so good.
That being said, I take 25% credit for my crotch fat dilemma. 50% goes to muscle issues, 25% goes to pregnancy body debauchery, and the last 25% to my own poor choices in diet.
I am getting better at food choices but it’s so difficult to maintain a constant healthy diet when T is buying pie, chips, and “Oh Henry!” chocolate bars. I mean, come on! Here I am trying to eat tons of fruit and veggies, and exclude all the garbage and he comes around with pie…. I love pie.
I’m writing this post because I was confronted with the magnitude of a particular quandary. Yesterday was so nice that B and I wanted to play outside all day. As the day advanced, it got hotter and I needed to strip down. I put on my swimsuit from last year. I checked myself in the mirror and although I am not “happy” with my body, I also wasn’t ashamed. I went outside to read and catch some sun while B splashed around. I plopped down on the edge of the deck, grabbing my book and finding a comfortable position. I looked down and started adjusting my bottoms when I noticed….
So I know I put a little weight on after B was born but I don’t remember my crotch looking so puffy. What in the world? It looked like I had stashed a codpiece under my swimsuit. I poked the layer of fat several times as to tell it, “Hey! Where did you come from? Get out of here! You’re not welcome!” I’m sitting there, staring at my fat crotch contemplating how long it had been like that. How could I not have noticed this? I mean, I have a close relationship with my parts and I would think that of all people I would notice this. It was like that time I dyed my hair a new color and my husband didn’t say anything.
All of a sudden I was hyper-crotch-conscious. I had to get out of my swimsuit right then. I was worried my neighbor lady would stop by and notice the crotch elephant sun bathing in my back yard. I needed to dress my crotch in baggy clothing. I finally understand why people who are weight-conscious wear over-sized clothing. I get it. I needed to minimize its presence. I put on shorts with a loose terry cloth fabric.
The shorts minimized the crotch avoirdupois but created another problem. My dimpled butt cheeks were hanging out.
Those fit last year. They were shorty shorts, but no cheeks hung out. I was so bummed. I have more work cut out for me than I thought I did. It’s such a challenge for me to maintain a proper balanced diet of what my body physically needs, and exercise that does not deplete muscle mass. I felt so defeated and frustrated.
That all being said, I have decided to not put off exercising and to start with what I have. Which is a set of 2 pound hand weights and a Wii fitness game called “Your Shape” with Jenny McCarthy. Google says I have to work out my whole body to decrease crotch fat. So, time to get moving.
Question Period: Do you have a fat crotch? I know I can’t be alone in this conundrum. If you do in fact have a fat crotch or shorts-evading dimpled butt cheeks, I feel ya. But not in the perverted way… I barely know you.