Seek out little pleasures, to obtain happiness you must.

5 Jul

Today is the first day without my bug. It started rather early when T’s alarm sounded for him to wake. I had every intention of falling right back asleep and taking full advantage of the morning silence.

I couldn’t.

I tried and tried. Tossed and turned, fluffed my pillows, sprawled out in the center of the bed….

Sleep did not come to me. All that came to me was a frown and the urge to climb into my little boy’s bed.

I fought this urge for a while, but the longing to smell the scent of my little guy was far too strong to resist. I made my way to his bed.

I laid there. Then, out of nowhere, I felt warm wet liquid on the sides of my face, my nose started running. What? No Lacey. Stop.

Yeah, I wept. I didn’t cry. I wept. These were tears of sorrow. Everything inside me wanted my little boy home in his bed.

Seriously, what is my problem? This is supposed to be a relaxing, month-long break from motherhood. I am supposed to be drinking a mimosa with breakfast, basking in the hot summer sunlight, reading books and foremost, SLEEPING. I miss sleeping so much. And yet, here I am. In my son’s bed, weeping on his pillow and longing to touch his cute flushed cheeks as he sleeps.

Oh how precious he looks when he sleeps…. My heart is cracking.


I finally got a grip on myself and decided to find a distraction. I put on some obnoxiously loud music and started cleaning. It was 7:55am and I was cleaning. SERIOUSLY LACE! YOU ARE PATHETIC.

I cleaned furiously. I sang loudly. I cried intermittently. I brewed a pot of Starbucks French Roast.

I went around scrubbing this, sweeping up that, putting away dishes, throwing laundry around all the while a perma-scowl invaded my should-be peaceful face. Boo. This month is gonna suck balls. Why did I think this month was going to be the best month of the year? I was utterly mistaken.

But as I pouted, the smell of my favorite Starbucks roast took over the house as I cleaned. I started taking deep breaths, drinking in the aroma. Mmm…time for a coffee break I thought. I took my coffee to the living room and started sipping. I continued to smell the beautiful dark roast glory, tasting the righteous nectar of the Caffeine Gods with each long and leisurely drink.


Wait a minute. This coffee is still hot and I’ve almost finished the cup. I smiled. I put my cup down on THE SEAT CUSHION of the couch. I got up to check the quiche in the oven. I came back, the cup hadn’t spilled. I picked it up, drank it. The last sip was still hot and filled with victory!


I miss my son and my heart is cracked. But my scowl is gone and I am on my third (uninterrupted) cup of Starbucks.


So it might be small but I have found something worth enjoying out of this whole separation.




I’m hoping to find more little pleasures to enjoy in order to mask the sorrow of the biggest thing I enjoy being absent.


***I hope all my American friends enjoyed their Day of Independence yesterday. Mine was a mixed bag of balls, but the fireworks at Niagara Falls were breathtaking.***


13 Responses to “Seek out little pleasures, to obtain happiness you must.”

  1. Jim Maher July 5, 2012 at 12:03 pm #

    Don’t worry, Lace, you’ll get your little dude back. I know it sucks. The first time my wife visited her mum with our eldest son, and this was only for a weekend, I was a wreck for the first day. These little people just work their way into our hearts and souls in such a way, don’t they?

    • Lace July 5, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

      Oh yes they do! And he took my heart and soul with him when he left… How rude. I know I’ll survive, I just don’t have to be overly happy about the whole situation =P

  2. iamrahulashok July 5, 2012 at 12:21 pm #

    Awwww…! I’m so much glad enough to read the words of expressions, love and care about your son. You’ll definitely get him back soon, Lace. ๐Ÿ™‚
    God bless. Cheers.\m/ ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Lace July 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

      Thank you Rahul! I am hoping the time passes quickly.

  3. Jill July 5, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    Love your words of expression. Its as if we get to be right there as you go through this tough time… i hope you find a way to smile,sleep,and laugh alone. For now, the starbucks is a start. How does one send this to starbucks…. it may be a free coffee or more in the right hands? Suggestions?

  4. Jill July 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

    Maybe ill print it off and deliver it to corporate office of starbucks in downtown seattle… yup, im gonna do it.

    • Lace July 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

      Mom!!! Lol, no way. You’re hilarious.

  5. twindaddy July 5, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

    I feel your pain. My kids drive me nuts, but when they’re not around it saddens me. I love having them here and will pass on most social invites just to be with them. Even if all we do is watch a movie.

    • Lace July 6, 2012 at 9:58 am #

      I’ve had a few friends tell me that I should be celebrating. They don’t have kids though… Glad you can sympathize.

      • twindaddy July 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

        I’ve never been able to feel good about not having them around. I do go out every now and then and leave them with their grandmother, but I feel guilty about not being with them when I do so.

  6. Andrew July 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm #

    My mom still misses me, and I’m in my 20s. Moms are the best. He will return, and then the Avengers will be back together.

    • Lace July 6, 2012 at 10:00 am #

      He told me if I needed him to just let him know and he’d get really mad and turn into Hulk and run here. I said how about you just grab your Ironman suit and fly here without all the destruction. He said, “Yeah, I guess I could. But destruction is more fun…and it’s good to exercise. Sooo…”

  7. Chris Biscuits July 13, 2012 at 10:39 pm #

    He looks like such a little dude! You know how sometimes you have to indulge parents and pretend their kids are interesting and cute? Well this guy is the real deal. Look at that smile! I hope he finds his way home soon.

    In other news, after meeting you only this morning, I have been lucky enough to be the recipient of a WordPress Blogging Award, and it would be the height of rudeness for me to not extend the honour immediately to you, because you deserve it. I hope you’ll accept with gravitas and aplomb, because these things are like gold dust.

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