Sorry Balls

18 Jul

Let me put it all out there for my followers, this month is no longer the Month of Cards and has lost all potential to be called so.

I have become a pile of  depressed balls.

I feel bad because:

1. I broke a promise made to my readers.

2. I have no intention of trying to redeem myself in any way.

I lay in bed day after day doing the bare minimum work required of me around the house. And because T is so enabling accommodating he doesn’t complain and goes about doing whatever it is that should have been done by me when he returns from work.

The only respite from this depressed behaviour is when I interact with humans while playing D&D a couple of evenings out of the week. And even then it’s been ridiculously hard to pull myself out of the dark hole I now live in basement and enjoy myself.

This is where I would attempt to lighten the tone, pour on some hope and make a promise of making it up to you. But I’ll be real with you, that’s not going to happen.

Everything I write since falling into this depression has been rubbish. Nothing is organic, everything is flat.

I need my muse back. Then balance will be restored to my life and my writing will fall in line.

Until then…


Sorry Balls.

(That’s my sorry card being played by the way. Since I am the creator of the cards I have a special deck that has a lot of balls.)



Please enjoy this video linked below. Kids are awesome. I want mine back.

Written By A Kid

16 Responses to “Sorry Balls”

  1. Jill July 18, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    Your little muse is what makes your view and perspective so special,..almost magical. You may choose not to enlighten him as he may use his power for personal gain. Lol

  2. Chris Biscuits July 20, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    I don’t wish to be mean about your little dude, but you were a full person before he was born, and you’re still that person now. I love that you play D&D, and I love that everything is something balls.

    • Lace July 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm #

      You are 100% correct! I think my issues are based upon not having much independence. Currently I am awaiting residency in Canada (I’m an American) and while waiting I can not work or continue education, I can’t even drive here yet. I haven’t been able to meet new people and make many new friends which is the biggest reason I have put so much into my son’s company. Lol. I know, it’s pathetic. This whole separation, and friends like you who can be honest, has helped me realize that I need to make a better effort to connect with myself. To be happy being alone, and to find some way to be content in this temporary situation.

      Also, D&D rocks. Do you play? And balls, well, balls is fun to say, fun to type, fun to combine with other words to make new, improved words.

      Cheers Balls!

      • Chris Biscuits July 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm #

        Good God, looks like I need to read your posts more closely. Do you have any idea how long you’ll need to wait? House arrest must suck – what you need is a project.

        I don’t really play, but I’ve twice filled in for a friend in a game and played his character. It was a lot of fun, but I think that was due to the DM (my friend Simple Joe) being a much bigger fan of humour than he was of plot. In my two games I gained a baboon familiar and an exploding stool. I used said stool to propel said baboon into the nostril of Cthulu. My friend was delighted to return to so much XP. It was geekballs.

      • Lace July 21, 2012 at 12:42 am #

        WooHoo! Now that is a DM I could get along with for a night of Geekfest =)

        Nice use of balls. *Stealing*

      • Lace July 21, 2012 at 9:49 am #

        PS, the estimated length of my house arrest is 8 months. I have until December, if all goes as planned. BUT these things have been known to take much longer than expected. It seems Canada isn’t too keen on foreigners marrying their citizens, so they like to make it wicked difficult. If the tables were turned and my hubby came to the US, we’d already be golden. It’s crazy how immigration laws for spouses and children aren’t just a formality of simple paperwork. It’s costly, time consuming, and mostly, restricting!

      • Chris Biscuits July 24, 2012 at 8:34 am #

        You’d think a marriage would sort all that out. How horrible that you can’t see your loved ones because of your nationality. Did your husband have to escape the some bear mounties and leap Niagara Falls to elope with one o’ them yanks in the first place? Sorry, this is racist, isn’t it?

      • Lace July 24, 2012 at 10:01 am #

        Hahahaha! Bear Mounties! Love it, stealing it.

        Getting married required a lot of paperwork and fees but that was the easy part.

        I can come and go though, and I’ve been home to Seattle a couple times in the last 3 years. But every time I cross the border its a bunch of hassle.

        People do a lot of things for love… Honestly, it’s overrated 😉

      • Chris Biscuits July 24, 2012 at 11:26 am #

        I was under the impression that Bear Mounties were an actual thing. When I was in College (High School equivalent) a friend and I were (ignorantly) discussing how places like the snowy areas of Canada are policed, and we wondered if Mounties ride moose. On closer inspection, it was revealed that somewhere, they’ve trained bears to be ridden. God forbid you should meet one of them on the border.

        People do indeed do some crazy things for love, but for some reason your comment has made me feel much warmer inside than I usually do after discussing such matters. 🙂

      • Lace July 24, 2012 at 11:36 am #

        Hahaha! Bear Mounties, you’re killing me.

      • Chris Biscuits July 24, 2012 at 11:30 am #

        Warm and fuzzy balls.

      • Lace July 24, 2012 at 11:37 am #

        You have really caught on to the balls terminology! I am impressed. Most people can’t move past the literal meaning and everything is about testicles. It’s so much more! YAY CHRIS BISCUIT BALLS!

      • Chris Biscuits July 24, 2012 at 11:52 am #

        I can’t see that nickname catching on, unless I do something horrific with some custard creams…


      • Lace July 24, 2012 at 11:58 am #

        I dunno… I like eating ball shaped treats. Example: Cream Puffs, Cake Balls, Truffles, Rice Balls and Sesame Balls. The possibilities are endless. Inspiredballs! Hmm and now I need a snackballs.

  3. Chris Biscuits August 9, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Hi Lace, I’ve recently had Facebook timeline foisted upon me, but it lead me to the re-discovery of one of Joe’s D&D games that I’d like to share with you, to see if you can run. Apparently it’s a game of something called Teen America, which I assume is a variant of a roll-playing game.

    Anyway, here’s Joe’s post almost verbatim:

    ‘I was cleaning out my room today when I noticed something sticking out from under my bed. It was a folded up piece of A4 paper, and so I unfolded it to see whether I needed to keep it or not.I was most definitely not expecting what I found. Here are the contents of the note. I post it here in the vain hope that someone, anyone can shed some light. It looks like we had fun. The brackets are things that would have been added or revealed as the game progressed:


    Charlie – 18 – 9
    Charles – 14 – 7
    Pistols – 0 – 0
    Terry – 49 – 25 – Plantophobia

    Terry has a gun and 6 (0) bullets and knowledge of his own immortality and a bee and a disease and a box. The disease is hysterical pregnancy.

    Pistols has (no) force powers and (still) dragon fire attack breath

    Charlie (no longer) has a saveloy

    Charlie has + 4 gay

    Charles has + 2 rape empathy

    DPD & sex with chairs


    This is the kind of DM I have to deal with.

    • Lace August 12, 2012 at 1:13 am #

      Hahahaha! WTF! The disease is hysterical pregnancy? +2 rape empathy… how nice.

      This would definitely be an interesting experience with your DM.

      Tonight we play D&D. There was no rape, sex with chair or pregnancy. But there were wyverns which are like dragons and we killed them. And we also are back in time, during the “time of troubles” protecting future gods. It’s not looking great…. The God of Murder showed up. Upside: The God of Murder is named Ball. I enjoy saying his name.

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