Seek out little pleasures, to obtain happiness you must.

5 Jul

Today is the first day without my bug. It started rather early when T’s alarm sounded for him to wake. I had every intention of falling right back asleep and taking full advantage of the morning silence.

I couldn’t.

I tried and tried. Tossed and turned, fluffed my pillows, sprawled out in the center of the bed….

Sleep did not come to me. All that came to me was a frown and the urge to climb into my little boy’s bed.

I fought this urge for a while, but the longing to smell the scent of my little guy was far too strong to resist. I made my way to his bed.

I laid there. Then, out of nowhere, I felt warm wet liquid on the sides of my face, my nose started running. What? No Lacey. Stop.

Yeah, I wept. I didn’t cry. I wept. These were tears of sorrow. Everything inside me wanted my little boy home in his bed.

Seriously, what is my problem? This is supposed to be a relaxing, month-long break from motherhood. I am supposed to be drinking a mimosa with breakfast, basking in the hot summer sunlight, reading books and foremost, SLEEPING. I miss sleeping so much. And yet, here I am. In my son’s bed, weeping on his pillow and longing to touch his cute flushed cheeks as he sleeps.

Oh how precious he looks when he sleeps…. My heart is cracking.

 

I finally got a grip on myself and decided to find a distraction. I put on some obnoxiously loud music and started cleaning. It was 7:55am and I was cleaning. SERIOUSLY LACE! YOU ARE PATHETIC.

I cleaned furiously. I sang loudly. I cried intermittently. I brewed a pot of Starbucks French Roast.

I went around scrubbing this, sweeping up that, putting away dishes, throwing laundry around all the while a perma-scowl invaded my should-be peaceful face. Boo. This month is gonna suck balls. Why did I think this month was going to be the best month of the year? I was utterly mistaken.

But as I pouted, the smell of my favorite Starbucks roast took over the house as I cleaned. I started taking deep breaths, drinking in the aroma. Mmm…time for a coffee break I thought. I took my coffee to the living room and started sipping. I continued to smell the beautiful dark roast glory, tasting the righteous nectar of the Caffeine Gods with each long and leisurely drink.

 

Wait a minute. This coffee is still hot and I’ve almost finished the cup. I smiled. I put my cup down on THE SEAT CUSHION of the couch. I got up to check the quiche in the oven. I came back, the cup hadn’t spilled. I picked it up, drank it. The last sip was still hot and filled with victory!

 

I miss my son and my heart is cracked. But my scowl is gone and I am on my third (uninterrupted) cup of Starbucks.

 

So it might be small but I have found something worth enjoying out of this whole separation.

 

DELICIOUS HOT COFFEE!

 

I’m hoping to find more little pleasures to enjoy in order to mask the sorrow of the biggest thing I enjoy being absent.

 

***I hope all my American friends enjoyed their Day of Independence yesterday. Mine was a mixed bag of balls, but the fireworks at Niagara Falls were breathtaking.***

 

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Survivor: Female Prison Edition (More Pillow Talk)

3 Jul

Last nights pillow talk did not disappoint.

T: If I was convicted of a crime, would you wait for me?

Me: Depends on the crime and the length of sentence.

T: I got drunk and stole something from the convenience store. I’d get 30 days and probation.

Me: What a stupid crime. No I would not wait for you, on principal, I refuse to be married to a dumb criminal. Maybe if the crime was a bit more smart, and of course, non-violent.

T: Really? You would leave me?

Me: I can’t waste my time on stupidity, so yes.

T: Ok, what if it was something like murder or embezzlement, only I was truly innocent, and you knew it. But you’d have to wait 10 years?

Me: Hmmm… I don’t know. Maybe.

T: Maybe!?! Seriously?

Me: Geez don’t get all worked up. It’s only hypothetical.

T: I’d wait forever for you, Lace. (He really said this as sweet as you read it.) Or at least 10 years without question.

Me: That’s nice, hun.

(I think he was offended that I wouldn’t wait, but I don’t enjoy lying. Even hypothetical lies. They just don’t set well with me.)

Me: I think I could do hard time and fair pretty well.

T: Ya right. You’d be chewed up and spit out and be made someone’s bitch in no time flat. You’re too pretty and small.

Me: No, female prison would be cake. I’d approach it like an extended game of “Survivor”. I’d find a sexy, buff, well-feared butch to align myself with and manipulate all the others around me with my good looks and small stature. I would run the show in the end, my love. Because I am brilliant and cunning.

T: Seriously, Lace?

Me: Yes. People usually like me and lesbians love me, as you know. And honestly, it wouldn’t be difficult. So I’d have to wash my hands a lot, and probably need you to send me lotion. I would be fine. In fact, I’d be more than fine. Woman prison is far easier than man prison, ya know. I might even enjoy the sexual activity I’d have to dole out for my insured safety. Men on the other hand, well, they probably don’t enjoy the action because it hurts more and ….(he cuts me off)

T: Yes. I know why men dislike prison. But why would you have to wash your hands a lot? …. Oh, never mind.

Me: While out on bond, awaiting my sentencing, I’d get a couple of hardcore tattoos and some on my face for good measure. Just to look a bit more legit. Maybe I should just go all out with the tats and make my face look like a skull. I bet they would leave me alone then and I wouldn’t even have to play Survivor: Female Prison Edition.

T: Oh babe…

Me: And then when I get out, we’d need to book a couple of laser appointments.

T: Anything for you my love.

***The blog has been quiet because I’ve been soaking up time with my son. I have to say goodbye to his cute face tomorrow evening, and I am kind of a wreck about it. I was so excited to have this whole month to myself, but more and more I am realizing that it is his company that I treasure. No amount of peace and quiet could compare to the chaotic whirlwind of love and joy he brings about our home. It’s going to be a month of growth I fear…. Anyways, I did manage to compile a bunch of cards and will be writing and sharing them soon!***

The Month of Cards

27 Jun

Despite a killer migraine who is enjoying an extended stay in my head, the card collecting is going well. A special thanks goes out to all who have commented or emailed me their own cards and ideas/suggestions. With your help I am creating an outstanding collection of Cards of Life. Your sharing has helped me unlocked a new part of my brain when approaching Cards of Life, and I am now pulling cards from outside the standard box. So thank you again! You all are so inspiring!

 

July shall be The Month of Cards here at My Life of Cards. I look forward to sharing the deck with you and exchanging more cards! Please continue to share your cards in the comments or email me at mylifeofcards@yahoo.com

 

Happy Wednesday Balls.

 

P.S. I am so excited for The Cards of Life! Click the follow button to the right of this page if you’d like them sent to your email =) You won’t want to miss these!

Calling all Cards

23 Jun

Recently, plans have been made for my son to visit his dad and extended family in Texas. B will be gone for the whole month of July and I’m already starting to dream up ways to keep myself occupied. I am pretty sure I’ll love the solitude.

First, I plan to finish reading “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” By Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess. A book I bought over 2 weeks ago and have barely cracked due to mothering obligations and exhaustion. Second, I plan to read the rest of the Game of Thrones series. Thirdly, this reading and relaxing will take place in a comfy lawn chair as I simultaneously tan, soaking up all those cancerous rays the East Coast has to offer me. Fourthly, I shall keep a cooler of alcoholic beverages beside me with plenty of little umbrellas to pop in them. In my head, I’ll be in Guam. Fifthly, I will most definitely be blogging it up! Why not right? There will be no little Thor to distract me with Wii Games. No cute little face begging me to walk to the park. No whimpering interruptions of hunger, this thing children always seem to want, I think it’s called lunch?

It’s just me fulfilling my own desires. I can almost feel the sun penetrating my epidermis. Just two more weeks until my vacation from motherhood commences and I find out which of my favorite characters die in their game of thrones.

 

In preparation of “Blogging it Up”, over the next 2 weeks while I await my maternal check-out, I am amassing Cards of Life in my draft folder. I have prepared 20 cards so far but I’d like to hear about your cards. All player’s have stock cards, like The “I’m Sorry” Card, or The “I’m in Love” Card, those cards we all have in common to some degree. I want fresh cards, different cards, cards that I’ve never encountered a use for yet. Help me build a better, well-rounded and more prepared hand.

Anything goes. They can be funny, faith-based, thoughtful, sad, challenging, raunchy. Whatever you have, I want. Seriously anything goes!

 

If you’d like to help me out, please leave the title of your cards and a brief description as a comment below. Although usually the title is enough for me to go on, so no pressure for the description. You can also email me your Cards of Life at mylifeofcards@yahoo.com and I will be sure to give credit where it is due when the card is made.

 

Thanks ahead of time to my followers, readers and players alike. I can’t wait to hear about your cards! Have a wonderful weekend and Game On!

Umbrellas Have A Purpose

21 Jun

Just a short post this morning as I am heading out to help a friend get organized for a move. There’s been a promise of Starbucks, so of course, I am there.
Last night in bed T and I were discussing our day and planning out our weekend. I made mention that I wish I had a Canadian driver’s license because it’s so hot, B and I dislike walking very far in this heat. But in order to cool down and have fun, we need to walk about a mile to the nearest plash-pad/park.

Me- Maybe we could call a cab for the ride there? And you could pick us up after work?

T- That’s kinda weird for just a mile. I can pick you up, but I don’t think a cab is necessary.

Me- Ya, I know. It’s just so humid it makes me sick walking in it. (using my whiny voice here)

(He offers no ideas. Time passes in silence.)

Me- I could always use an umbrella like those Asian people B pointed out the other day. (B thought them very strange walking with an umbrella in 100 degree weather)

T- So you’re going to use an umbrella?

Me- Yeah, I think that would help shade us while we walk. Like a parasol…

T- So you’re going to use an umbrella to shade yourself from the sunshine?

(T starts giggling. Yes, giggling.)

Me- What is so funny?

T- Well, in true Seattlite fashion, you never use an umbrella. You always have them around, but you just gingerly walk out into the rain, never complaining. It could be pouring and you just walk faster. Now you want to use one, but it’s to block out sun.

(Yes, I get it now)

Me- Well that’s because if I don’t shade myself from the sun, people will see me sparkle. I can’t risk people figuring out  what I truly am.

T- Twilight? Really?

Me- OK yes, it’s weird and I get the oxymoron found of my actions. Or maybe it’s just moronic….

T- Love you Lace.

Me- Love you, Night T.

(Time passes as we try to sleep)

Me- YES! Now I can finally use that umbrella that came with my purse! It matches the lining you know…

T- Glad you finally found a use for it….

Me- I know right?! It takes up so much space, but I knew some day it would come in handy.

T- You could have used it last time you were in Seattle, with all those rainy days.

Me- You just don’t get it T. You don’t get it.

Have a great Thursday everyone! I know I will. Starbucks is on the horizon.

The “I’m Sorry” Card

19 Jun

Usage Guidelines: Use to express regret of actions or words. (If you use this card to keep the peace, please check out The “Doormat” Card.)

Expiration: This card is only valid for one or possibly 2 uses on any infraction. It will not be accepted multiple times for the same damn thing! (If you accept this card repeatedly for the same poor behaviour, you as well should check out The “Doormat” Card.)

You know those people in your life that you love but they can’t seem to ever do it right by you? Their sorry card is so worn from repeat use that their card could crumble to dust at any minute. Because you love them, you keep accepting their crappy sorry card over and over, hoping they will get it right soon. But to no avail, same ol’ story, same ol’ card.

How hard is it to tell the truth? How hard is it to not hurt someone you care about? How hard is it to follow through on promises? Apparently, it’s near impossible for some.

One could say that if a person repeats a poor behaviour, that they probably mean to do it. They meant to lie to you, they meant to fight with you, they meant to mock you, they meant to “forget” about commitments…

Perhaps they just don’t care about you. Perhaps it’s easy for them to say sorry and continue on unchanging. And if you repeatedly accept their sorry-ass sorry card, why not continue on with the bad behaviour?

I have a few things to say to the card player found in violation of the rules:

Hey you with the worn, torn, faded sorry card! Cut it out. Quit hurting the ones who love you. Quit misusing their forgiveness and softness of heart, you terrible person! Do it right, make things right, and put your stupid sorry card away! If you find that you are in constant violation of The Sorry Card Rules, I suggest you should do that person you keep apologizing to a solid and get lost. And take your sorry card with you.

Hey you, Doormat, who keeps accepting the sorry card for the same bad behaviour from the same person, cut it out! How many times do you have to be wronged before you realize enough is enough? You should not allow ANYONE to take advantage of your kindness, ever. Stop being a Doormat. Rip up their Sorry Card and show yourself some respect.

Hey you, Doormat, who uses the Sorry Card to keep the peace, STOP IT! You are an equal, your feelings matter. Stop devaluing your voice and start standing up for yourself. Do not give in because you dislike the confrontation. So you’re uncomfortable? So what. It will hurt you more in the end if you sacrifice your feelings. Please find your spine and your mouth, and let your voice be heard. It’s OK to disagree, it’s OK to speak your own mind. Stand your ground!

To everyone else who uses this card properly:

Well done! Way to be awesome at life!

*In my Cards of Life rules, I have offered an exemption to people I love with A.D.D. and those in recovery for an addiction. I’ll continually take the sorry card from them and show them grace, love, and support. I’ll also continue to accept Starbucks drinks as tokens of apology. So long as they make progress and take their meds like a responsible human being, of course.*

Oh, I’d Smash Her Good!

19 Jun

I read a blog the other day that was talking about making dialogue flow when writing conversations between characters in a book. One of the suggestions was to go to a crowded place you don’t frequent and to listen to people’s conversations.

Well we went to a CFL game last week and let’s just say my anxiety was soaring. The sound was far too loud it put me on edge and there were tons of people. I was very uncomfortable. But I fought back and what helped me was remembering that blog, and the suggestion to listen to people. Although I didn’t need to practice writing dialogue, I did think that eavesdropping on people around me would be entertaining and a fun way to distract myself from the chaos. I totally invaded people’s privacy.

I started with the two teen boys sitting behind us. At first they were talking about their plans for the upcoming summer break and how glad they were to be done with classes soon along with teacher bashing. Then they drifted to girls they like. This was interesting. I was expecting to cringe, I was expecting dirty or crass content. But they surprised me.

One of the guys came out with a struggle he’s been having for a few months. “I really like her. She’s funny, smart and really sweet but she got fat this year. I mean, she has the prettiest face I’ve ever seen. I really like her, but you know how the guys would be…she’s fat now. I don’t know, maybe I’ll ask her out this summer and we can be active and hike and stuff….” He trailed off and his friend picked it up agreeing she was all those great things, but is in fact at least 20 pounds heavier than last year. They talk about her home life, and how she had to quit sports and maybe that all played a part of her weight gain.

It was nice to hear guys talk like this. They took it beyond surface and went deeper. It was nice to hear young men talk with feeling and be considerate of life circumstances, and not just judgmental, objectifying pigs.

And then, well, and then they went and ruined it.

The first guy- “Ya I think I will call her this summer. Maybe start flirting with her when no one is around, and then once school is out, I’ll make a move.”

Second dude- “Ya definitely. That could work. I mean, she does have a really pretty face. And if you can get her to work out with you, come next year at school she’d be frickin hot again.”

First guy- “Oh heck yes! I’d smash her good if she lost some weight. And since no one would really know but you this summer, I get some then too. Oh yeah, I’d smash that!”

Second guy- “Ya and since you’d be dating her while she was bigger, she’d give it up good…”

I tuned out. I was so disappointed. Way to crash and burn guys.

Furthermore, what in the world… Smash her? Seriously. You’d smash her good?  Who says “smash her”? Apparently the 5’8, 110 pound, 16 year old boy with the acne covered face and Darth Vader t-shirt behind me does.

I moved on to the young woman sitting beside me with her parents and a family friend, hoping for some better content. The young woman, around 28 or so, had just graduated law school with honours and was to be taking the bar exam next month.  She’s beautiful, successful and was wearing really cute shoes. Her voice was perfectly pitched with a slightly sexy rasp to it. She was slender, tall, with curly dirty blonde hair swept up into carefree cuteness. I stopped listening once I realized how utterly vapid she was…. (OK, or maybe I just got jealous. Maybe.)

Then I shifted my attention to the best pair ever. My hubby and son. They were the biggest aid in conquering my anxiety that night. And when I actually was able to watch the game, it turned out to be pretty cool.  GO TI-CATS!

…..Smash her? Seriously dude?

 

It’s amazing what you’ll hear when you take the time to listen. Or eavesdrop.

My Concussion Still Sucks Metaphorical Balls.

15 Jun

Ever since my concussion (read all about it HERE and HERE) I have felt emotionally unstable. Because of the Post Concussion Syndrome, I have frequent headaches and experience anxiety in social situations (even when I’m with my close friends and family), loud noises or chaotic environments trigger attacks, small things I used to not fret over worry me and make my heart palpitate, and in addition to the anxiety the concussion caused depression as well.

From the usual content of my writing this may come as a shock to you. I keep my posts humourous and upbeat no matter how I might be feeling on that particular day. I find that when I force myself to write, even when I am mentally in a dark hole, it helps turn my day around. I work really hard to search out a happy place and when I find it, I start to write and share what I found with the world.

I enjoy writing. I enjoy laughing. And I especially enjoy other people’s laughter. But this past week has been torture. I don’t know why it’s been worse than usual. My body is even feeling it. My legs are fatiguing and last night I felt pain in them that I hadn’t felt in months, my joints are aching, I even find myself frowning and scowling for no particular reason.  It hard to find pleasure in anything. I can’t seem to look forward to fun things we’ve planned for this weekend, and that just makes me mad.

What really gets me going though? I know all these feelings are irrational. I have no reason to be sad, disappointed, agitated, depressed, angry, or anxious. I feel hyper aware that my mental state does not fit my situation in life and that makes me even more agitated and frustrated.

My life has improved in so many ways over the last few months. My hubby graduated college a few months ago and he has a great job in a very cool field, We have money now (such a relief of stress), I’ve been able to visit home a few times in Seattle, I got to see my brother get married, My son is growing more awesome with each passing day, I’ve lost 3 lbs, I have a couple of friends in Canadaland now, And my application for permanent residency is currently under evaluation and should be approved by the end of the year. Seriously, I should be happy. I should be loving life, enjoying the beautiful summer with my son and husband. But I’m struggling, and that frustrates me.

I’ve been to a few doctors about these issues and each time they say there is nothing they can do for me because the problems are caused by my post concussion syndrome, not a chemical imbalance or an inability to cope with a crisis. They say this could last from a few months, to several years, or the rest of my life. I wish I could take a pill for a while, or get some counseling and be better. But those remedies won’t help me. I feel like there they are telling me there is no hope but time, and I don’t want to accept that.

I want myself back. I don’t want to have to dig myself out of this stupid dark hole anymore, I want to always be in the beautiful light of life. I don’t want “good days and bad days”. I want to be the Lacey I was before the concussion. The rational, emotionally stable, spontaneous, upbeat, positive, excited about life, always looking on the bright side, Lacey. I hate that I have to force a smile on my face, I feel so fake doing it. But the anxiety and depression are the true disingenuous a-holes. They are both LIARS and exist in a false reality.

I know that my anxiety and depression are affecting my son and husband, and that breaks my heart. This past week has been especially hard for everyone I think. I try to make up for all my neurotic behaviour when I have a good day, but I haven’t had one of those in over a week and it’s not for my lack of trying. And it just adds to how horrible I feel when my husband is all sweet, caring, loving, understanding… I feel worse when he is so good about it all. How’s that for crazy?

I don’t know where I was going with this post, or if I had a point I was going to make. Honestly, no clue… I do however know that a lot of people suffer from anxiety and depression. And if you’re reading this and can relate to what I am going through, I hope you feel less alone.

Until these concussion related problems dissipate, I’m going to keep fighting against it. I’ll keep climbing out of the dark hole, I’ll keep trying to smile. I still have my will to fight and it will not defeat me. Anxiety and Depression will have their place for a while it seems, but I refuse to let them define me. I refuse to give up hope for an end to all this inner madness.

And so today I do battle in my head. I hope if you’re feeling DOWN, that you’ll fight for the UP with me! And if you’re already UP, how about you grab the hand of someone who is DOWN, and drag them UP to you. Or throw a couple Xanax or Valium at them. Be friend will ya?

P.S. A friend of mine linked me this video, HAPPY!, and it brought me a genuine smile. It was just what I needed to find true happiness today, and a grip on reality. I looked at my son and remembered his first words and how his laugh used to sound when he was a baby. Thanks C!

P.P.S. When I went to do the tags after finishing this post, one of them was “Lady Gaga”. I thought about why she was suggested. It has to be because of my mention of pills and living in an alternate reality. I tagged her because WordPress would never lead me astray….

It’s Time To Do It Right, Lace

13 Jun

Do It Right. That’s my motto.

I pride myself on “Doing It Right” in my life but after a morning of meditation, I acknowledged that I have been falling short. I have to make a change. No more half measures. I refuse to be a hypocrite.

How can I go around telling my friends, family and strangers to “Do it right!” when I am not actively giving it 100%? And I so love to tell them, “DO IT RIGHT!”.

Hence, I am discontinuing parts of my blog, My First Hand and Living the Re-Deal, and beginning to write a book. I have real content to share that goes deeper than a 5 minute read once or twice a week. I need to be able to write without leaving parts out “because it would be too long for a blog post.” I also need to stop hiding behind this blog. I know I am hiding. It feels safe here in the world-wide-web but its high time I step out of this comfort zone.

See, me living today is a miracle. Every day I spend on this earth without pain and paralysis is a blessing. God healed my body and because of him I have the opportunity to write my story and share it in its entirety. And my inspired story deserves a book. I am sure of it!

I will leave up the posts in The First Hand and Living the Re-Deal but there will be no more added in the future. It’s time I Did It Right, and started putting my life down on paper. (My mom is going to be so happy about this.)

Not to worry though! You can still look forward to my ramblings, rants and interactions with my son and husband which will be posted in Present Gameplay, as well, I will be putting more into my Cards of Life and The Players.

I’m kind of excited actually. I feel I can give more to my readers now that I am streamlining my content and I hope you enjoy following me nonetheless.

Cheers!

Our Kind of Pillow Talk

7 Jun

T and I have something special when it comes to communication. Our ability to converse spans over many subjects and nothing is off-limits. I find him to be the most stimulating conversationalist but for the sake of our marriage and happiness we avoid political debates, well, before bedtime at least.

Last night we watched an episode of House. At the end Wilson is getting a brain scan to determine if his tumor is operable. Of course there was a cliff hanger and we’ll find out tonight if Wilson is toast, but that ending stuck with me.

Subsequently, our pillow talk went a bit twisted. Instead of talking about the usual, like, current world issues, Dungeons and Dragons, T’s work, B’s future, our dreams and goals, how much I miss the energy drink Whoopass, what kind of superhero we would be…it drifted to Death with Dignity.

T and I have discussed our stance on Death with Dignity and although we both support that choice, we never took it deeper than that. Well, boy did we go deeper. Like 6 feet under.

I asked T if he would kill me if I was terminally ill, suffering immensely and unable to exercise Death with Dignity. Without hesitation, and kind of excitedly, he replied, “Oh yes!”

I have such a devoted husband.

It went further.

T-  “Heck, I’d decapitate you on the steps of Parliament!”

T- “Well I mean, if I wasn’t taking care of B. I wouldn’t risk going to prison if B was still in our care.”

Was that statement about B suppose to make this uneasy feeling dissipate?

Me- “Babe, that’s nice and all but I’d like to just OD on a lot of great pain killers. Ya know, without the bloody mess, TV crews and your imprisonment? Do you not remember what Death with Dignity is?”

He knew what it entailed. Apparently his willingness to decapitate me in public was supposed to prove to me the lengths he would go to ensure I suffered no longer. But it kind of  just creeped me out.

The conversation progressed after I turned out the lights.

T- “If you could choose a way to die, not by pills or decapitation (who chooses decapitation? Is that even on the table of chosen ways to die?) what would you choose?”

Me- “If I can’t have pills, I choose sudden impact.”

T- “So I would just wheel you off a cliff?”

Me- “What, wheel me?”

T- “Well, you’d free fall and just SMACK against the ground, dead. That’s a pretty good one hun.”

Me- “I wouldn’t need pushing, I’m not afraid to die. (Why does he want to be such an active part of my death?) What about jumping out of a plane together, except I don’t pull my parachute?”

T- “Well you could do that. I couldn’t go with you.” (T is afraid of heights)

I start laughing.

Me- “If you did want to kill yourself that way. I bet I would meet you upon landing and be pissed off that you pulled your parachute.”

This was funny. Probably because we were both tired and the conversation was morbid. But the idea of being upset that he was alive, saying goodbye to him “one last time” as we free-falled together and having to keep paying for jumps out of the plane, only for him to still be living at the end of it all…. It was just funny.

T- “I wonder if someone who was scared of heights had the choice to jump off a cliff or die a slow agonizing death, could commit suicide by jumping?”

We agreed T couldn’t and had another weird laugh about death.

Me- “So how would you want to go?”

T- “I’d like to go quickly.” (From previous conversations I knew his favorite form of capital punishment was death by firing squad, he reminded me though. And just so you know, I would prefer lethal injection. In case that knowledge is some time needed in the future.)

T- “A firing squad would be cool. Or a gun to the head, it’s all the same.”

Me- “Good to know hun, glad we discussed this. I’m getting tired…”

T- “We have the best bed time conversations, don’t we? I sure love you.”

Me- “Love you more.”

I gave him a kiss good night and something fell off his mustache, and onto my lip. It was salty, and small, and round. Yes, a booger.I had a mini freak out he just laughed. I got over it.

 

*I try to sleep. Several minutes pass and I just can’t help myself.*

Me- “Decapitate me on the steps of Parliament?!? I’m going to dream of you killing me.”

T- In his sweetest, nearly asleep voice, “Only because I love you so much.”

 

 

QUESTION PERIOD: What’s the strangest bedtime conversation topic you’ve enjoyed or endured? I’d love to hear about it!