Tag Archives: appreciation

Why July Sucks Balls.

11 Jul

Did you know July is my favorite month? Well, it is and has been for years. I love everything about July. The weather, the festivals, the fresh produce, the holiday! How could a month that starts with fireworks be anything but extraordinary!?


Well, I’ll tell you.


I had all these hopes and dreams for July. I was going to have my favorite month all to myself. I was to be on a vacation from motherhood. Tanning, reading, eating what I wanted, sleeping nude, cooking nude, having crazy sex anywhere at anytime with T. This month was going to be peaceful and relaxing and free! I would have no responsibilities, nothing pulling me away from writing, this was to be “The Month of Cards”! But unfortunately, this month did not live up to the hype I created in my head.

I find myself too sad to write anything funny. I feel so lonely that I find myself doing absolutely nothing, just waiting for T to come home. I have no motivation to even enjoy the beautiful weather and have tanned all of 1 hour this week. I downloaded my book so I could listen to it because I feel too depressed to read. The plants in my garden are withering away because B would always water them with me in the mornings and evenings. And this morning, well, this morning I had a bit of a melt down.

I cooked bacon and eggs for breakfast. I dished up 2 plates and set them on the table. I called out, “Buggy! Breakfast!” and then silence. B is gone. I sat down looking at my plate, and then to B’s empty seat beside mine. I sobbed into my bacon.

How does one enjoy life without the key ingredient to joy?

I never realized how BIG of a part this little man played in my life. I love him, I enjoy his company, he’s my son. But it’s so much more. Maybe it’s unhealthy, maybe this is normal. Whatever it is, I’ve at least learned something.

I will never take my time with him for granted. Perhaps I haven’t truly been appreciative of my son and all he adds to my life. He’s just always been there, like the sun and moon and stars. I never had to imagine a world without him, because he was always with me.


July Sucks Balls. I didn’t want a learning experience and I didn’t want to search myself and realize I’ve been taking my son for granted. Looking hard into oneself is not relaxing, in fact it’s uncomfortable and sometimes ugly.


I guess I should probably do a bit more growing and thank July for sucking balls. Because it’s made me a better mother, and at least for that, I am truly grateful.


Dear July 2012,

I have thoroughly searched myself and I feel I have grown as an individual and a mother. Now, can I please have some fun?


Your biggest admirer,


Kreativ Blogger Nomination

30 May

Yesterday a fellow blogger nominated me for the Kreativ Blogger Award. His blog is great and is one of my faves! He deals out entertaining posts in 200 words or less that always provoke a thought or a laugh from me. With 200 words or less I always have time to read his posts in their entirety before B has the chance to interrupt. Bonus! Go check him out at http://the200.wordpress.com/ Thanks Jim for the nomination! Can I nominate you right back again? 😉

When I received this nomination I immediately went to Google to find out all the details about the award. I had no idea it would turn into a 30 minute long Google Treasure Hunt. I ended up all over the place, trying to find the origins of this award. What I discovered was slightly disappointing. After reading many blogs that had been “nominated” and were in turn nominating 7 more blogs for the award (as the rules direct) I quickly realized that this award was in fact, just a nomination for an award that doesn’t truly exist. It felt like the chain letter for a blog award.

At first I felt extremely disappointed. I had gotten so excited about possibly receiving an actual blog award and my hopes were pretty high. And then they came tumbling down after unearthing the illegitimacy of it all. I sat in front of my computer, feeling sad and wishing it had been something more. Then I raised my head and allowed myself to feel proud and absolutely happy about the nomination for the imaginary award that will never be bestowed to anyone.

I decided to let go of the “award” and focus on the fellow blogger who found my blog worthy of a nomination. And he did list my blog 1st out of the 7, so I have crowned myself as his favourite. Jim Maher is an amazing writer who shares his talent with the world in between caring/running/worrying after his 3 sons who are under the age of 5. He’s a super stay-at-home dad, oozing creative writing talent and I feel honored to be recognized by him regardless of the award’s legitimacy. So thank you Jim!

Although this award will never be set on my mantle, (I don’t have a mantle. But if I ever received an award, I would buy one. No, have T make me one. Nah, just buy a house with one probably.) it will be celebrated. Being acknowledged by my peer has felt amazing and I am so thankful to all of my readers who enjoy what I write.

The “rules” for receiving this award nomination are that I share 7 things about myself and then list 7 blogs for nomination of this award as well. So here it goes.

7 Things

  1. I love the smell of rain (in Seattle).
  2. I’d like to backpack across Europe.
  3. I want to publish 3 books before I die.
  4. I have an addiction to Starbucks, Victoria’s Secret and Pad Thai.
  5. Raising my son has been the best (ongoing) experience of my life.
  6. I want to be a professional writer, photographer and chef. (I need to get busy soon)
  7. I look forward to being old and never having to use my “filter”. Old people can say anything they want…

7 Blogs 

  1. The Utah Progressive – Aids in my procrastination and delivers some jaw-dropping news.
  2. 29tolife – She’s taking on her 30’s and sharing the adventure with us!
  3. Shut Up Dad – Seriously, he makes me laugh hysterically and uncontrollably. I love how his mind works.
  4. Tinkerbelle or Laughter is Catching – She understands you have to laugh about life, so she shares her’s.
  5. My Life is a Romantic Comedy – Her life really is a romantic comedy.
  6. Jake’s Blog – Jake is a writer. He’s pursuing publications and life at it’s fullest.
  7. My Twice Baked Potato – Kelly is a mom doing the best she can with her twice-exceptional son. Her site is loaded with personal experiences and advice for parents trying to navigate through the complicated process of parenting a child(ren) with complexities.

And there it is. Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement as I play my hand.


I told B why I was writing this morning and all about the imaginary award I was nominated for. I asked him if he’d help me make my own award to hang up somewhere and he said, “First we need to take LOTS of pictures. That’s what they (celebrities I assume) do when they win awards.” I asked B if he had any cool awards and he said, “Yeah. Like the Superhero Award, and the Policeman Award. Oh and the Nerf Gun Award.” Apparently, he’s outdone me.

A photo shoot ensued and B directed the whole thing. He shows real promise.